Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize