Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
