Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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