we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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