Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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