can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize