I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
