you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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