My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
