I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
