didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
