whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
