Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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