Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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