I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no, he came in my armpit
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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