hotel room ftw
where does the pee come out of this thing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
