i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
