Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think your dad took our porno
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
