Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
