i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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