I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
