You're so nebulous sometimes
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
