do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
