so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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