I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
