I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
