Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
