i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
