butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
