I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
