dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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