I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize