I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
