I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
