You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
