So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
