i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Quick, to the slutcave!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
