Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
