OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Randomize
