I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
