I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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