too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
