She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
