is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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