did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need to calm my uterus...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
