I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
