how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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