She's JV to your varsity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
