You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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