reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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