playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
