if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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