Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
